Compassion
We frequently think compassion is what we feel for and extend to others. It is. But it is also vitally important that you extend compassion and grace to yourself as well.
Compassion is the primary message throughout my website and blog posts – encouraging you to give yourself grace, kindness, love, and compassion.
Compassion is the central message of my caregiver book You’re Not Alone: A Caregiver’s Story and Guide Through the Loneliness, Overwhelm, and Practicalities (Book Link). It is the title of Chapter 1. (At the bottom of the website Book tab is an informal recording of my reading the Introduction and Chapter 1: Compassion of You’re Not Alone (Book Website Page link).
Why? Why do I believe compassion, specifically self-compassion, must be a vital part of your path, your journey, your daily life?
Because without it, there is a disconnect.
Even before my caregiving journey began, I started to feel this disconnect. My identity had been tied to caring for others. As happens naturally over time, kids leave the nest, and relationships and careers change. For me, I experienced all of these in a short amount of time. And so, I began to wonder who I was.
The principal identifiers in my life were either no longer there (mom with kids to nurture and raise) or were what I began to understand were unhealthy for me (approval seeker, people pleaser). When these principal identifiers, my roles in life, changed, I started to realize that if I didn’t prioritize my self-nurturing and well-being, no one else would. I wanted more from my life than I was giving it, and I wanted to feel joy and contentment in my day. Then my husband started his cancer battle, and my priority shifted entirely to being his caregiver, returning to prioritizing another above myself.
Why do I delve into the backstory for you? Because I believe that if nurturers and caregivers have learned how to cherish themselves – to self-nurture, have self-compassion, value, respect, and love ourselves before life’s anticipated progressions of career change, children leaving the nest, retirement, even relocation, and/or we face unexpected, unwelcome realities such as death, relationship changes, disease, disability, or other health issues of our own, family, or friends we are better able to keep our cup and teapot from emptying.
But more, we are able to have more patience, with an open mind, and listen with an open heart, allowing us to be fully present with the one(s) we are caring for.
You cannot provide for another what you do not have yourself.
And so, my friend, give yourself love. Give yourself grace and kindness. Give yourself compassion 💙
