Don’t they see me? Do they even know who I am?
The brutally truthful answer to that is – no. It’s unlikely they do.
I’m going to stumble my way through writing this. Even though I don’t have it all figured out, I am driven to write this. Someone needs to hear it, even if it is just me. Please bear with me and forgive the inelegance.
I woke up this morning feeling off. These exact questions popped into my head during my morning walk with Sunni. I was facing the fact that there are gracious and well-meaning people in my life who know Judy. But they do not know who I am.
I think that’s the first step, the turning point. It’s when you become aware others do not see you for who you are. Although they think well of you and even love you, they do not know the uniquely beautiful and wonderful person you are.
The next step is deciding what you want to do about it. You. Deciding.
If, like me, you’ve reached a point where you no longer want to ignore the fact you’re undetectable – welcome! The easier route would be to put your head back down and keep doing what you’ve been doing. Yup, I get that. There’s no judgment here. I’ve done this for years.
Until I decided I wanted to move from wondering who am I toward discovering Who I Am.
It’s not their fault they don’t see you or know who you are. Up until now, it hasn’t been your fault either. But now that you are aware, and it bothers you enough to ask the questions, what will you do about it?
Here’s a possible starting point. Honestly answer this question. As you go through your day, are you your authentic self?
Where are you when you fulfill the roles and expectations at work, at home, within the community, or at events? Where are you when you adjust your actions to please others? Where are you when you don’t speak up for what you want or need? Where have you hidden yourself while you nurture and care for others?
I talked with my therapist about what I was thinking and feeling as I read responses to one of my IG/FB Posts. In part, it explained one of the reasons I was feeling off this morning. After hearing me out, she asked a question that struck a bullseye. She asked, “Where were you in the post?”
If you want others to see you, to know you – then be authentically yourself. Others will see whoever you present to them. What better way to shine your light than to be who you are?
If you’re not sure who that is yet – that’s ok. You just took your first step. I’m right with you.
