It will happen when you give it the time it needs, the time you need.
I have been learning that things happen in their own time when you give yourself patience and grace – when you listen within yourself from a place of love and acceptance.
It’s Christmas week, and next week starts a new year. This time of year can bring anticipation, expectation, excitement, trepidation, and a host of other emotions. There is a closing and a beginning. For many, there is loss and grief along with the promise and hope.
This year, I am keenly feeling all of these.
A little history: During my caregiver journey, as my husband battled cancer, I wrote updates connecting those who wanted to support us during this excruciating time. Over time, I would receive comments regarding how my writing drew people in and touched them. During one memorable moment, a good friend and colleague of my husband’s told me I should write a book. I was stunned and profoundly moved by her compliment, encouragement, and offer of help. And, the kernel of thought started to grow.
I started writing my book for caregivers the fall after my husband passed. At that time, I was living alone in the remote rustic family cabin during the COVID-19 pandemic shutdown after moving out of the rental house we had lived in. My intent was to make a difference in another caregiver’s life and to help me process my loss and grief with the hope of starting my healing.
I set a word count deadline and met it. I completed the first draft before the end of December 2020. The second and third edits and drafts, with help from an editor, were completed in the winter into spring of 2022/23. There were editing and formatting challenges and bumps that slowed down my progress. I was also navigating a life I had never envisioned or expected to find myself in. I would routinely hear from those encouraging and supporting me, frequently asking me when my book would be ready.
However, along with the challenges, mainly because I was entirely out of my comfort zone and in unfamiliar territory regarding publishing a book, there was a lot of fear and a sense there was more waiting to be written. And there was.
Three years after I finished the first draft, I wrote an additional chapter. I needed time to look from a different perspective and bring together what I was voicing in the pages and chapters. The Slipper chapter had been waiting until I was ready to write it.
And then the wait continued. Yes, I had to learn to format the book how I wanted, accepting some limitations. And I had to handle unforeseen delays. But mostly, it was my fear holding me back. I was not ready. I had not yet reached the tipping point where my courage overbalanced my fear of criticism, judgment, and expectations from others and even myself.
This summer, when I sat with, named, and finally owned that I was the one getting in my way, I could finally move forward. Please don’t misunderstand me by thinking once I acknowledged this, I pushed the submit button. No, indeed, I did not. But I can give myself grace in the fact that the timing of changes in my life corresponded with taking the self-publishing steps necessary to get me to the point of clicking that final publication button.
Things happen in their own time.
There is no rushing them even when the purpose, determination, and even conviction are there. It takes fortitude to travel the path of a dream, an intention, a goal and turning it into reality. Often, it is not a task itself that slows us down, causes us to stumble, or even to turn around. It is the journey we take within ourselves, the growth of self-love and acceptance, self-worth, and of courage. Because it takes courage to overcome fear, to persevere despite real and imagined obstacles.
Courage happens when you work and give yourself time to unearth and evolve. When you reach the tipping point.
Last Thursday, I reached that tipping point. I hit the submit button on Amazon KDP to publish my caregiver book You’re Not Alone: A Caregiver’s Story and Guide Through the Loneliness, Overwhelm, and Practicalities. Admittedly, I continue to have trepidations, but my determination to use my voice and make a difference in other caregivers and nurturers lives, and my own, has become stronger and louder than my fears. As has the understanding that what I have created to support caregivers and nurturers is more important than the opinions of others.
I gave writing You’re Not Alone the time I needed, unintentional as it was. And I think it is perfect timing as the blessing of this season turns into the start of a new year – filled with promise and hope.
My friend, when you find yourself with a dream, intention, or goal, my hope is that you give yourself the time it needs, the time you need to unearth the self-love and acceptance, self-worth, and courage within you and reach your tipping point.
