Let’s say you’re standing with someone you don’t know at a social event. The inevitable question rears its head. “So, what do you do?” It’s the traditional, almost habitual, way we try to engage with someone before standing together becomes awkward. In a social situation, our elevator pitch leans toward a brief introduction of ourselves in the form of what we do.
Let’s say we encounter each other at Suzie’s 50th birthday party. We strike up the habitual first-contact conversation. Does telling you that I’m a writer and photographer or you telling me you’re a pediatrician or plumber actually connect us? Based on our professional occupations, we don’t have anything in common.
We may move on to the next question, which is likely, “How do you know Suzie?” We’d already know each other if we knew the quinquagenarian (fun word, huh?) from childhood. Instead, our answers still may not engage us. Unless.
Unless there’s a common thread that Suzie has that we, too, have.
What if that common thread is a hobby or interest? What if it’s a charitable or volunteer group? Or a favorite vacation destination? Don’t these say more about who you are than your work does? Those interests and qualities belonging exclusively to you. The you who is a uniquely amazing person.
I think one of the reasons many of us find ourselves looking in the mirror at some time in our lives and asking, “Who am I?” is because we’ve fallen into the habit of identifying ourselves solely as our professions. We think we are what we do. And, yes, I would also include being a spouse or parent in this.
Our roles, our professions, change. This change happens by choice or not by choice. It occurs naturally with the passage of time or through crisis and loss. As these changes happen, if you only identify yourself as what you do, you’ll likely find yourself looking in the mirror and asking, “Who Am I?”
Your best qualities may make you particularly suited for what you do. But what you do does not make you who you are.
Read that again, please. What you do does not make you who you are.
Who you are makes you good at what you do.
So, the next time someone asks you, “What do you do?” why not be brave? Don’t stop at what you do, but continue to explain why who you are makes you great at what you do. It may take some effort on your part to figure out and put into words, but, my friend, you’re worth it.
